MAY 2nd 2025
I had another of those issues with my abdomen swelling up and hurting really bad and I haven’t eaten anything that would have caused it. Maybe the vitamin C pill? Seriously my diet has been so narrow lately. I really dialed it in even further but I have stopped making headway. My head hasn’t been clear like it was before, I haven’t had major energy bump ups + I haven’t lost weight. Recently started having diarrhea everyday which may have something to do with the abdominal pain.
Yesterday my meals were: eggs with steak. steak. That’s it. I ate twice and each one of those was a small portion in a bowl. It’s so much fat and I have to use a lot of electrolytes. SOS <– I’m having trouble on this diet but it’s my last hope.
My blood pressure has normalized though and I was able to go back to painting and I went to the gym twice although I had some issues with recovery and seizure activity afterwards both times.
Maybe I need a few more carbs, less fat, hmm. I really need to lose weight so maybe gym everyday, lorezepam and pot to try to manage that adrenaline / seizure issue and basically what I’m doing now but with occasional ice cream or rice. Less fat though because I feel greasy.
3 Day Fast to Reset
MAY 4, 5, 6 (chicken broth, 1 boiled egg, salt, magnesium)
My GI is swollen and I have a blockage. My appendix is trying to go hot. I’m going on a 3 day fast – so if I need surgery I’m gtg but also maybe it can work it fix itself on its own. I think at the gym this week I was doing some core work and I moved a tumor onto my intestine. I knew when I did it and it hurt (!!!) So I was trying to stay calm and just chill until the pain passed. With the joint issues it’s not my first ouch.
Day one and I’m having some Senna tea, regular magnesium to get things moving.
75lbs over weight
262,500 calories (at 3,500 calories per pound)
6,000 calories banked by not eating 3 days per week
2lb weight loss per week on average
30-40 weeks to lose the pounds or around 1 year only eating 4 days a week. Dang.
Refeed days no carbs, low carb, 2 meals per day of meat, eggs etc.
I need to quit coffee and the electrolytes that contain Stevia because my body & insulin are really messed up.
My eyes are normal.
My face is symmetrical. Whatever it is that is causing the eye-wonk goes away on fasting it turns out. Maybe this is my path to Japan, I hope. Working to get well to get back to Japan. The eye wonk would randomly show back up during that 72 hour fast so I don’t think it’s related to food.
Sunday May 11th 2025 Fasting (Again)
Last week having decided I had a blocked bowel and it not getting better with the three day fast and having not poo’d I went to the doctor. She gave me the nuclear option of enema + Dulcolax + Magnesium Citrate and sent me home to try to poop emphasizing that the blockage had to be moved or I was in real trouble. Prior to that though I went for an x-ray. I took one of the drugs and the magnesium when I got home and settled in for a really bad night. I got a phone call, “hey don’t do that – you have a kidney stone and it’s huge and stuck right before it gets into your bladder.” But by then it was too late. My doctor advised me to go to the ER, I was like – I’m going to poop myself, it has to wait.
So anyway, the next day arrives and I’m a little better but my electrolytes were whacky (of course) and my adrenaline went up (uh oh) so then I had 3 days of seizures and intense anxiety and this time it did not care if I had rescue meds or not. I was in hell for three days. When you say ‘seizure’ it doesn’t seem like it is a trip to hell, but it is. It really is.
I’m out on day 4 now and am weening off coffee right now like my life depends upon it.
Struggling – This is Hard To Stick To
Recap of benefits:
- clear head
- more energy
- increased sense of smell and colors seem brighter
- I feel more alive and less foggy
- blood pressure came down
- heart rate came down
- I was burning my own body fat and making a lot of ketones (tested for)
- sense of hope
- Actually getting to eat tasty meats
- Started cleaning more and taking care of things
- At first it seemed to impact seizures – but maybe not.
Downsides:
- Did not shift weight, not with limiting meals, not with fasting, not with wishful thinking, I gained.
- Oxalate dumping, was told I had to drink strong tea (allergy), have lemon (allergy) or take supplements (no) to deal with this, however I want a diet I don’t have to do extreme science to micromanage my ‘russel cycle’ or whatever the fuck.
- Men and fit people have a better go at this because they can use more of the protein in the meal. If you’re an older person and more sedate or ill you have to rely on the fat, but if you’re old and sedate you’re going to have issues digesting that fat. And fat at 3:1 ratios (fat / protein) is really rare in nature yet their support for this diet is that it’s “the one we are meant to eat” as humans. Hmm, pressing X to doubt.
- This diet absolutely requires adaptation.
- Has the same bullshit excuses I heard in Vegan, “well how compliant are you?” And when people gain weight, “well I just put on weight easily” and “you must be eating Keto snacks” — when Vegans got fat it was the same thing, “try raw or all fruit” and “be more compliant!” “cut snacks!” Everyone wants to be a success case and part of the group so negative events and outcomes are difficult to hear about.
- A big concern I had was that HBA1C was not being lowered in a substantial number of people it was going up. Excuse, “the red blood cells live longer because we’re so damn healthy!” Additionally fasting blood glucose was elevating and staying up. This seemed to be very common and brushed off with a ‘don’t worry about it, this is healthy.’ But I want a fasting blood sugar of 80 not 120, not 130. I don’t want my HBA1C up around 7. No way, I can’t do that.
- I suspect starches are a very special kind of carb that we can use in multiple ways and that McDougal was right about them – caveat, we eat a lot of shit carb. Also both communities say they can’t be mixed, never eat fat with carbohydrate! The Randle cycle!!!! But next up I plan to do just that and my primary reason is …. that’s exactly how we ate when I was growing up and it worked for a myriad of my Irish ancestors damn it.
- Actually, let me be blunt, the Vegans look better than the Carnivores – they just look healthier. Heuristics, I know, I know that’s shallow but sometimes….
The New Plan Is Not Carnivore.
- Quit coffee / caffeine as a stimulant
- Quit sugar (again, if I need to as a stimulant)
- Weak barley tea for breakfast, broth with olives or boiled egg for lunch, 1 portion of fatty meat, Rice or Potato, small veg for dinner. Dessert is a little fruit once in awhile or ginger tea with tiny bit of honey. One real meal per day. So the day goes like…. Barley Tea, work out / get stuff done. Lunch soup of light broth with an egg, dinner fried chicken thigh/leg combo in duck fat, mashed potatoes, 1/2 cup of green beans. So the plate would be like, quarter meat, quarter vegetable, half starch.
- 2:5 fasting schedule. Fasting two days per week if possible. (It’s been easily doable lately but that’s because I don’t feel well.
Because I have had so many issues with terrible anxiety I am quitting caffeine, it also is a big time gateway back to bad creamers with a lot of crap in it. I think I have a tumor in my adrenals that is fucking me over. Pheochromocytoma – I had a test for this but it wasn’t the right test(s). I needed a CT scan. I am getting a CT scan but not of my adrenals, *sigh*
Any goals and dreams I have seem a million miles away now, I’m just trying to get by. I don’t think I have a kidney stone, I think it’s something else, but we’ll see. Pheochromocytoma will fuck a person up and it’s like a roller coaster to nightmare town until it ebs which is like 72 hours of absolute hell. You can’t escape the nightmare. Instant psychosis, a non-stop panic episode with layers like vomiting, diarrhea and I think the tumors in my lungs, adrenal and abdominal are all interrelated. I think it metastasized. I live in constant fear that the tumor will sound-off and HELLO bad days. I can’t calm down, I can’t stop pacing, I can’t sleep, I can’t keep food down, I can’t stop hallucinating and it requires a ton of tranquilizers layered on top of one another to try to stem it a little. I also have to sleep with headphones. It is hell. Real hell. Maybe if andrenaline wasn’t my seizure trigger I would be better off? idk. Idk, but it’s been very difficult.
THE END
I kept on trying to be carnivore but was diagnosed with a kidney stone and then a bad appendix and then my abdomen has been all swollen and crappy and I hurt all the time. My bp is still fairly low and blood work was alright but my kidney Creatinine was elevated even after a 24 hour fast, and yes I was well hydrated, I was on an IV drip at the hospital to see if they needed to take out my appendix.
My skin was greasy and looked like shit but my hair stopped falling out – hair looked good. The clarity stopped after awhile and I found out that I have very bad osteoporosis.
I tried steak again last night (I miss it!) But it just came out again as orange burning poo with long strands in it – who the fuck knows what that is. Probably some kind of fucking parasites I’m killing off with Carnivore.
Anyway – I have to end this because this is non-stop panic-anxiety attacks and I just fucking hate life right now and I’ve been not dealing well at all with anything. Hospitalized again, doctor x3 this past couple of weeks. It’s on to a different chapter. A very starchy chapter.
EPILOGUE
The CT Scan with contrast had revealed (although I was not told at the time) that my intestines are squeezed into a night nook up by my liver as most of my abdominal cavity is one massive tumor. I knew I had tumors but the size and severity was a shock. It’s pressing on my stomach and causing a lot of problems. I had lean beef today. I had bad diarrhea from it again. I can’t win.
