This week there was a scare at the local park, unfortunately along the trail I typically walk. Maybe I’m a little paranoid but it does feel like I’m followed now when I’m in the park.
This week we were informed about a water leak. We also need the roof replaced. *sigh* Also more medical bills came in. I just need about a $100,000 extra and everything will be paid off.
Seizures.
So I figured out that anti-oxidants help. I figured out that ibuprofen helps. I haven’t been able to get them to stop altogether however and I still am a bit at a loss about what to do. I postponed going on HRT as I don’t know how it will effect the epilepsy. Everything these days is ‘PNES’ they don’t want to recognize, diagnose and treat epilepsy anymore – now isn’t that a little strange don’t you think? People online with grand mal are getting the PNES treatment. Weird. I casually wonder if they would like to stop any breadcrumbs about how the brain and the human body is electrical. Almost all the medications work by sodium channel blocking. Since most work the same way there really isn’t a reason to use very toxic meds like Keppra, Lamictal – you could just use a beta blocker in theory. So….wtf.
Anyway, I don’t want medication – it might come down to that but I’m trying to find a better answer. I have a couple of epilepsy textbooks I’m reading and trying to figure it out. Last year prior to seizing or during a very active period with a lot of seizing I would smell burned garlic. This time it’s a bit like cannabis. I often see shadow movement out of the corner of my eye or bright sparkly lights on the top of my eye. Sometimes it’s like I go to a different dimension for a little bit – I see a whole other world. It was like that when I was little, I remember seeing into a different realm when I was about five. It always feels like…I don’t know…like things are interconnected in a weird way, like I can see how for a moment but recently the panic and the rest of it comes in to play and that replaced the mystery and mystical to just the horrifying.
I have been so exhausted this week. I wish I could figure out how to get my energy back.
I always had dreams that would come true and premonitions and that all totally vanished when I was on Lamictal. Maybe the seizures are a double edged sword, they suck but you kinda get a front row to something most people will never experience? Idk…
